12. Seagull Lessons: Autobiographical

 



 

As the lights went out in the cavernous gym, he sat on a chair in the middle of the gym floor.  He sat next to a PA rack system that he had hooked up to two large speakers.  I could see his outline in the darkness, and the lights blinking on the PA system.  I heard a key pressed on a cassette tape and the ‘hiss’ sound of well-worn analog tape moving through the speaker system, violin music drifted in, a syrupy introduction melody -- ghostly and staticky -- it had the sound of a tape cassette that had been played many times. The music faded into silence, and then I heard these words:

 

‘It was morning, and the new sun sparkled gold across the ripples of a gentle sea. A mile from shore a fishing boat chummed the water and the word for breakfast flock flashed through the air till a crowd of a thousand seagulls came to dodge and fight for bits of food.  It was another busy day beginning.  But way off alone, out by himself beyond boat and shore Jonathan Livingston Seagull was practicing...”

 

This was the first time that I had ever heard the story of Jonathan Livingston Seagull[1].  In 1973, the same year that Mr. Frenz was hired as the band director at Marlington High School, the book: Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach, was at the top of the New York Times Bestseller list. It's easy to see now, why this book became such an important part of our peculiar musical curriculum at Marlington. In so many ways, we were all Jonathan Seagulls at different points in our lives.

 

For me at this time, the thing that had caught my attention about this late-night 1973 recording by the Irish actor Richard Harris was not the audio production itself. The audio rendition of this story is engaging, but what really got into my mind and started moving around was the man who had pressed the play button on the tape player -- the master of ceremonies on that night, our band director, Mr. Frenz. 

 

I couldn’t help but notice that even at that late hour, in the darkness of that gymnasium, that he was still wearing his coat and tie -- he was still on duty, so-to-speak.  He wanted us kids, more than 150 of us sprawled out on that ice-cold rock-hard gym floor, to hear something important.  I understood from how he was dressed, and how he carried himself that class was still in session.  I knew instinctively that whatever this recording was, it was important -- and I assumed that it was an extension of everything that he was trying to teach us.

 

As I lay in the darkness on that gym floor, and the wispy and glassy sound of a man’s voice -- a voice with a very faint accent -- told this story about a seagull named Jonathan.  As I listened to the story, I heard about Jonathan, a loner, a misunderstood dreamer, a bird filled with passion -- and I heard about how Jonathan let that passion guide his life.  In Jonathan, I heard a lot about myself -- or at least the person deep inside me who wanted to break free from his circumstances.  Through the wonders of flight, beautiful unhindered flight, Jonathan Livingston Seagull learned that he could break free -- that the power for him to soar beyond the heavens -- this power was inside him and it was unleashed by love. Within this story, I could also hear the distinct personal message that we are all spiritual beings -- not merely temporal -- but all of us have a spark of divinity within us and one day, we will all break free from these bonds of the earth and soar away.

 

Yes, this was a nighttime seminar in metaphysics -- and our professor for this coursework was Mr. Frenz -- sitting alone in the middle of the gym floor in the darkness and his class of students reclining in a circle around him. He wanted us to think about these principles, and without ever saying a word, he was able to instruct us very effectively in this advanced cosmic coursework.  This story of the seagull -- as I understood it -- was not a separate teaching of what we were learning in the Marlington Band Program.

 

The story of this seagull was an integrated component of everything we were learning -- all of it being more than music.  Listening to this beautiful narrative about a lonely seagull helped me to further comprehend that true freedom belongs to anyone willing to follow their hearts and follow their passion.  Personally, this story of the seagull was also a reminder of what I had learned in the Schwartz Center at St. Joseph’s church years before that I was a spiritual being, more than my present temporal circumstances.

 

“We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” This was what Mr. Frenz would say to us frequently.[2]  In different contexts, on different occasions, and several times every year I would hear him say this – sometimes in passing.  Jonathan Livingston Seagull would have agreed with him.

 

I drifted off to sleep on that gym floor in the mountains in West Virginia, listening to this tale of the seagull.  My mind and heart were filled with wonderful things -- I was filled with my love for this music we were performing under stadium lights.  I was filled with a sense of wonder about a spark within me that was kindling, that was growing, that was beginning to fill my soul with warmth, with hope, with direction. We were on the eve a significant victory for our musical program. 

 

“I love that story.” A friend said it after we met for a few minutes before breakfast.

 

“Yeah, it’s cool. It’s like a Bible story, but different.” I was thinking about the gospels, but I knew there was something far more universal in the story -- something closer to what we were experiencing in our lives right then. 

 

“They say he plays it at every major competition.”

 

“The same tape?” I asked.

 

“Yeah, exactly that same story, same setup and everything.”

 

“I guess if you want something to be remembered, you say it more than once.”

 

“Yeah, but I like it. Just takes me away -- like I’m up there flying with him.” And this was said with a smile and with an upward look like her flight was possible, and imminent.

 

“The heaven stuff, kind of creeps me out.” I said and remembered how much we had talked about God and religion on our bus ride up the night before.

 

“I think it’s beautiful. The whole thing to me just feels like -- just God. I think it’s brilliant.”

 

A few of my band friends had talked to me about their ideas about God, about religion, and the afterlife. These subjects, among countless others, are the topics of conversations on long bus trips among young people.  I knew some who had such clarity about what they believed, and I was envious of them.  In particular, was Gretchen who had developed at an early age a very distinct personal relationship with a strictly monotheistic God that was omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient.  Just God, no additions, no subtractions, all-natural.  I admired her convictions.  


My ideas about God, about my relationship to him were not that clear. At this time, I was still trying to get all the Apostles Creed, all of my Catechism, and Trinity, and Holy Spirit stuff all lined up into something that made sense to me. If my spiritual journey toward Unitarian Universalism had a starting point, it was there on that gym floor in the dark of night listening to a story about a lonely seagull.    


I still don’t know if the story of Jonathan Livingston Seagull has a purely theological basis.  The author himself is unsure. Maybe that was the lesson we were given all those years ago – that we were all having more than a physical journey in life – that we were having a spiritual journey also.  This story about a seagull, if you listen to it, gets you thinking, and searching, and contemplating.  We may all end up with different conclusions about what it all means, but the important part is that we struggled in the process to figure it out.




[1] Translated into more than 30 languages, Jonathan Livingston Seagull has sold more than 40 million copies since 1970. Richard Bach received 18 rejections from separate publishers before the first copy was ever printed.

[2] Mr. Frenz was quoting Teilhard de Chardin (1881 – 1951) a Jesuit priest, paleontologist, and French philosopher -- who said “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

 

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